Been couple of days since my last post, I had a very busy week and a lot on my mind…
Here's a quick review of what happened these days and what I went through…
I had some work related meetings this week with some people I didn’t knew and some I haven't seen a long, long time, went very good I think…its amazing how easy it is to communicated when you're not so busy with dealing with the panic attacks, anxiety and depression, it was actually fun.
I was at a barbeque with friends, made everyone laugh. That's funny, usually I would just try survive the situation if would get myself to ever get out of the house and when I did find myself in those situation I would never talk or talk as less as possible, but this time I couldn't shut up, I was funny, interesting and seems like people really enjoyed my company. Its like I feel I can finally truly express myself , my real self around people and that's awesome.
Later the same week I called this new girl I'm suppose to date today, her name is Carrie and once again it's a blind date, now you're probably asking yourself why am I doing this to myself…lol so was I, but my plan is to attack my greatest fears, one by one, until I will comfortable around people. I had a conversation with her over the phone, it went smooth, I felt relaxed and made her laugh, seems like I'm improving all the time, she sounded a bit "old" or "too slow" on the phone but maybe its just me, never the less will try to meet her open minded and have fun, get some more experience and gain more confidence – this is mostly what I'm after mostly lately.
Later, still the same week… on the way saw this girl that couldn't open a door and I helped her, also at launch talked to the waitresses a bit went nice too, I think she want something from me? Maybe not… I'm still fighting myself to break a specific barrier that really annoys me when it comes to approaching strangers and initiating conversations with them. I really want to be able to do that.
After that day I woke up ok, but almost forgot to take the pill again... lately I'm forgetting that I take pills at all… which is good but bad cause I don’t want to forget or skip a day, anyways , I've made an emergency package of cipralex pills and placed it in my wallet for emergency situations.
had to come back home to take it... I place a My Appetite is getting better lately…and over all I had no special dramas this week, thinking a lot about getting a girlfriend, I have another blind date today, I wonder how it will go…
Thats it for now, I will update you how it went on my blind date...:-) wish me luck...and take care!
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