Forgetting about the pills

I've notice that two times I totally forgot that i'm taking cipralex... almost actually forgot to take the pills, but eventually i remember, but its a good sign, Its like all the side effects are totally gone...

just wanted to share that too :-)

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Day 63 - 73 with 15mg cipralex: Attacking on all fronts

Hello everybody, here's a quick review of what happend these days...

* I talked to a girl on a bar(complete stranger...i would could never do that before)

* I started singing to myself a lot lately, specially in the morning... and in the shower...thats funny...isn't it?

* bought lots of cool clothes (dealt with lots of people doing that...so it was fun to see i can handle that)

* I feel bored, or maybe I just need a relationship...at night it was really boring it was raining so i was stuck at home...again...

* thinking about getting a girlfriend again...

* singing on the morning, i set a meeting with this company that makes matches between people...(I need love, not some sentimental prison)

* went to the meeting i set, when i came to the front door i had a kind of starting of panic attack but it was for like a milisecond than i just went right in and had fun. that was amazing that I could handle that, normally the pressure,anxiety and panic would be overwhelming...I developed some nice techniques to get my self to deal with all the issues that bother me, more about that in future posts...had an interview at the meeting with this guy, i think I made really good impression on him...

* thinking about one of the girls i run into in the shops... i should talk to her...

* its very cold lately , but i'm feeling better ,i'm starting to notice a change in the way i interact with people and all the things i used to worry about seem so far now...sometimes i cant even remember them sometimes

* went to the cinema and to drink something and had some people it was fun.

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Things I've Tried Before Cipralex

Hi there, just so you'll know I haven't just jumped into this, and you shouldn't too, here's the stuffs I tried before cipralex (which tops them all, at least for me and my issues):

1. Hypnosis
2. NLP
3. Home remedies
4. Herbal and nutritional supplements
5. Saint John's worth
6. 5htp Supplements
7. Shrink
8. Psychotherapist
9. Self Help books, films, audios
10. seroxat
11. Valerian Drops
12. Chinese Acupuncture

some of them helped less some helped more, but when I compare cipralex with all of them, its much better and the changes are happening real fast.

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Boring...Boring...Boring

Lately I've noticed I get bored when I do nothing, staying at home is boring, watching tv is also boring... this is a major thing for me, usually time will just fly for me even if I don't do nothing , I never felt bored... but this is a very positive thing for me, I guess I haven't noticed I wasn't doing much because I was very very busy thinking about what I should do, or avoid... panic attacks, social anxiety and depression...well seems BORING to me now...that's something isn't it...

there's this old saying, you gotta look at your worst fear in the eyes and watch him look down... this is what i'm doing to all my fears...

I've made a genius plan to deal with all my fears one by one, I've discovered how to trick myself into it and i'm keep pushing my self forward...

I will tell you more about this in the coming up posts...

take care!

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Happy New Year

Well the last couple of days were something, I've been in lots of places and had just to interact with people here and there, which is still amazing for me because just getting out of the house, not to mention being around people i don't know was "an issue" for me, this time it was easy and kinda fun.

Its almost a week now since i've increased the dosage from 10 mg to 15 mg, and i'm starting to feel the difference, I notice slowly slowly how I become more relaxed in past stressing situations and get this "I dont care" or "bring it on" kind of feeling...I like that.

I've to couple of stragers ,was'nt much of a conversation but still its another step forward just to do it and see that i can do it and stay a live and without a panic attack, that's something.

Cipralex side effects are totally gone now... sometimes I forget I take it...

Some folks asked me about cipralex and sex issues, I promise to post some information about that too, I know it effects and important to many of you...

Another things worth mentioning is that I get kinda bored a lot lately, but I guess its a good thing cause it make wana do stuffs...just need to figure out what...

anyways, take care everybody and comment - its important and gives me an execuse to keep writing.

love you all

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What goes up ususally goes down before going up again

hi,
someone asked me if cipralex feeling can get better and then worse again?
the answer is yes, this means two things:

1. you're in the starting phase or your body is still adjusting to the pill, usually will pass after the first few months...

2. you need to increase the dosage.

but consult your doctor, this is what I would do.

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Mind your steps!

As i've mentioned in earlier posts its crucial to notice the small changes and to put them in the spot lights, and lately there were many.

Including: when i walked the street some guys came up to me and wanted to take a photo of me for some project their doing for school, so i agreed , than in a store i had a problem paying with credit card so i had to talk to the bank on the phone, took a lot of time and patience and apparently I kept my coolness or so it seemed to the three girls that were there,

complimented me about that, and later on i felt one of them was kinda hot and maybe i should hit on her or at least try to start a conversation... I will do that tommorow I wonder what will happen... also went out to this show, with some friends, was ok, but in the enterance I kinda flirted a bit with the girl that sold the tickets... it was fun and short...

show was ok too, than we went to drink something and met another girlfriend of one of the girls, she was very shy... i think i managed the situation well, drank two beers was ok.

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Day or two after increasing the dosage

Started the 15 MG today, lets see how it goes...
I'm also invited to a barbecue at friends place - was fun and went very well, I actually had fun and had some nice conversations with people.

Bought a new jacket and some awesome shirts, also went out to the beach, visited a restaurant, chat with the waitress went ok, than met a friend on the way home, invited her over with her boyfriend, sat and chatted for a while, than went out to see this show with friends was nice too.

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Day 55 to Day 57 - Meeting with the doctor

Here's a quick review of what's going on...

took the motorcycle from the garage today went fine, had a long conversation with a taxi driver , we end up shaking hands and i think i convinced him to write a book :) lol, after that I had a meeting with my lawyer where i think i demonstrated some alpha, and got my self shiatsu massage too later that day

had meeting with my doc yesterday, was weird waiting in the waiting room , some really weird people were there, Felt like i don't belong, anyways, I've decided together with the doc to increase the dosage from 10mg to 15mg for the next month and see how it goes, the cipralex did good so far, I do feel major improvement, however I want to radicate and terminate the panic attacks and anxiety totally, so we've decided to increase the dosage even thought that it works.

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Day 54: Cipralex, Wine and Fancy Dinner

Just came back from a fancy restaurant, drank some wine and ate some fancy food with my family, considering all the circumstances its amazing I haven't gave this too much thought like I would do in the (not so far) past,

usually I would think about it before and get into a panic attack worrying about how I would handle it, this time, I just didn't thought about it much, was more focused on the present, I communicated nicely with everyone and with the waitresses and made her laugh too,
it was nice, also started investing more in the way I dress.

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Day 53: 100% of the focus is on the outside

what a day was today, I went out shopping with a friend, was awesome, found some great clothes, shoes etc', haven't finished with all the things I need yet, but its a huge step forward, some idiot mumbled a remark about my weight but i didn't care too much because I considered him to be an idiot, and there's no reason why should listen to idiots, so it bothered me for like couple of minutes maybe less,

than I forgot about it and went on having fun. got me new sunglasses too, usually I wouldn't dare stepping into those stores but it was awesome, in some stage I just didn't care any more...my mind was on different things totally, amazing, when I think about it now I 100% focused on the outside.

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Day 49 to Day 52 with Cipralex

Here's a brief summary of notes I took in these days:

*had some meetings today with new people i did not knew, went ok, later on It really bothered me that I'm alone, I need to get ,myself a girlfriend real soon or I'll go crazy, I hope that after sunday meeting with this stylist I will feel more capable to take it to the next step with that issue and actually do something about it and not just cry about it...

*Went to do some arrangements today, had one mild so called panic attack, I was sweating, and a bit too self aware, maybe because i walked a lot before, not sure, but eventually did what i wanted to do, i'm getting excited for sunday, when i will meet this girl that suppose to go shopping with me, but its best to face those deamons right on THE SPOT, got my mom a good birthday note to self - notice how you feel more free around family and friends.

*Woke up ok, had good dreams for a change,I felt good in the morning, later on I went out for a walk, wasn't that good actually, some idiot yelled at me for no reason, I didn't answer him, I was totally restrained and kept my coolness, like I don't give a @@@@, however i must admint that it did bother me for couple of hours maybe it was less after that happend, than i totally re-framed it and now I laugh about it because he was the one that broke his state of mind, his state of mind actually fell apart... my'n did not, so it was nice I could look at things that way,

Now i'm about to prepare for tommrow shopping session, makes me little nervous thinking about it, but i know everything's gona be just fine, maybe even better than fine, I need to get some style asap, lots of meetings and gatherings coming up, need to feel confident in myself, that can sure help together with cipralex to give me the extra push i need to loosen up and feel free to be myself around people, and just say @@@@ it, that's WHO I AM - you can either accept it and love me as I am or you can just fuck off because I'm not going to give a @@@ about what you have to say anyway...ok, better start preparing for tommrow session now, not much time left, I'll update you and myself on how it went , right now I'm bit worried, but tommrow everything will be fun fine and awsome, I promise. and after I'll pass that challenge with success I will move on to the next step in my master plan...

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Day 45 Until Day 48 - Notes to Self

there's a storm outside today, freezing here, but funny that usually this kind of weather will bring me down, not this time... note to my self - notice the small changes.

meeting with stranger (work issues) went ok, at night felt very very sick, headaches and eventually I threw up...

feeling better today, the headaches are gone now finally...took the day off work, slept most of it...

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Terrible migraine while on cipralex

Yesterday night I had a terrible migraine that lasted until this morning, I could not take advil or any pills to cure my headache, eventually I threw up in the middle of the night, and the pain after almost 24 hrs is gone...

I've research the internet for cipralex and advil and such pills mixed together and everyone are against it...so I decided to use tea, black coffee and hot showers, which worked well...

I'm meeting my doctor next will , I will ask him what can you do in such cases and keep you posted with more details about what can you do if you suffer headaches and such while on cipralex so keep visiting my cipralex blog for more details about that and more.

remember that if you have any questions about how should cipralex feel like, what's the best time of day to take it and cipralex with specific phobias this is the place to get that info, feel free to ask and comment.

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Day 37 to Day 44 with Cipralex - Notes

Here's what happend from Day to Day with cipralex:

* Had too much alcohol...

* i went to see some horses today, was nice to see em, but I'm not sure back-riding its for me...

* Almost had an accident with the motorbike today because some idiot cut me off with his car, considering the situation I dealts with it in a very calm way , usually this kind of thing will upset me for couple of hours... now it was seconds, also talked with a new lawyer at the office, usually I get anxiety while talking to someone i don't know, this time, it was easy and fun, also went out at the evening, went OK too.

*talked on the phone with a designer today, went OK, also need to meet a new customer, hope it will be fine, I'll update ...had weird dreams too, the meeting with the lawyer went fine, felt relaxed and free to be myself, i think i made good impression...

*had nice conversation with my shiatsu massagist...

*some co-workers come to visit the office, see how that will go, at least I don't waste time worrying about it....as I usually would...in the past. just finished with this...had to deal with meeting lots of new folks, went OK, someone made small comment that bothered me for a little bit but, now when i think about it ,i don't give a f@#$., but i did for couple of minutes...maybe bit more...

* considering everything I feel improvements, but I'm not where I want to be yet...

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Quick and easy tip to deal with panic attacks

Here's a quick tip for you that can help you to deal with anxiety or panic attacks (but more mild ones.),
what you do is simply focus on the outside, when you start having the attacks, instead of thinking about yourself, think and focus on the outside, it can be some people, clothes someone wears, their face, or anything you can think of, keep focusing on the outside until the attacks is gone... I've tried it couple of times and it works in certain situation, give it a try.

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The first time I felt agoraphobia social anxiety and panic attacks

First time I noticed something is really wrong was went I stepped into a grocery store and all of a sudden felt like I just had to get out of there, The stress levels went up, I started sweating, had problem breathing normally and my heart pounded like mad, I could not communicate with anyone, just the present of other people around me made my body react in the "fight or flight" response... that's what happened, and it was a stupid grocery store...
I felt bad, like I just want to avoid everyone and every place and just hide someplace...
for me that was the first time I felt something is seriously wrong...

Today, with cipralex, I can tell you I can go into places and just get into a "I don't care" mode, and just be myself... I don't know if you call it social phobia, agoraphobia or whatever but I know I just felt bad.,,

Cipralex helps really fast in these kind of situations...

but I had other issues on my mind too...still do...

Agoraphobia is almost gone totally and the anxiety almost gone too, social phobia and panic attacks are much more mild now, and I'm on 10 MG still... My doctor suggested we increase it to 15 MG soon, to see if I can terminate those thing totally...

I sure hope so, I will update you about it too, I hope you can learn and benefit from your loyal Ginny pig here ;)

*This is from wikipedia:
"Agoraphobia (from Greek ἀγορά, "marketplace"; and φόβος/φοβία, -phobia) is an anxiety disorder. Agoraphobia may arise by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no perceived easy means of escape. Alternatively, social anxiety problems may also be an underlying cause"

read more here


here's something maybe can explains how someone with panic attacks deals with situations

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Peak time of cipralex?

if you have just started with cipralex, you might wonder like me when things will really start to kick in, I can tell you that you'll start feeling a difference after two weeks, at the beginning , lets say first month its more like on and off and sometimes it can be kind of annoying, you might even ask yourself does this thing work at all? does it worth all the side effects?! the answer to both is yes, but it will take at least a month or two until you'll notice things change, but don't expect to just wake up in the morning and be someone else, that wont happen...

What will happen is more gradual thing, slowly you'll notice that things that caused panic attacks and anxiety or depression before will bother you less and less...

I do recommend you keep a diary and write down the changes and the things that stays the same, this is what I do and it sure helps me to keep track of everything that's going on, and don't mess with the pills schedule or amounts, just keep with your plan.

best of luck, and never give up, remember you can and you will over come this.

and its very brave of you to actually do something about the thing that bothers you do I congratulate you on that , job well done.

take care and feel free to comment and ask questions or just share your experiences.

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Can you crush cipralex?

"can i crush cipralex?" this is what some people asked me on my email, well yes you can if you have to, but it wont taste good, its better just to take the pill and swallow it at as it is.

 besides the pill melts in the body anyways... if you want you can cut the pill into two or three and take each part seperated, but best thing to do is consult with your doctor...

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Day 36 - Meetings, Galleries and Pubs

had a meeting with a property owner, new situation - new people , got little bit nourves before, but nothing to compare with what I use to feel before new events like that a month ago, I wonder how i will handle it...


eventually I decided to not give a f$## about it, just flow and see what happens, just came back, it all went good, I talked a lot , I think I controled the situation well, did some NLP stuff which worked nicely - if you have the time - learn it....

Later on went to an art gallery , and to a pub, first few minutes were wierd because I got so used to the anxiety and when it did not appear i was not used to it... but it also went ok, in a cool way... I could be myself again...


Its a shame I drank some beers in the pubs, could hardly finish the 2nd glass...never happend before...I guess its cipralex trying to tell me something....STOP DRINKING...

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