My Blog, My Diary, My Life.

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Overcome Depression

Major depressive disorder also known as MDD is a mental disorder characterized by low mood accompanied by low self-esteem, and by loss of interest or pleasure in any enjoyable activities.

Do Not Panic!

Panic attacks are periods of intense fear that appear suddenly and of relatively brief duration. Many, who experience a panic attack, mostly for the first time, fear they are having a heart attack.

Social Phobia Common Anxiety Disorder

Social anxiety involves an intense feeling of fear, worry and discomfort in social situations and especially situations that are unfamiliar or in which you will be watched or evaluated by others.

Break Free

It’s time to for you to fight back and break free. It is more than possible for you to change your life around, to relax, to have fun, to laugh to be cool.

Take Control

With or without cipralex, you must always fight to gain back control of your life.

Monday, January 31, 2011

96 Days with Cipralex...Feeling much better now...

Hi everybody, I know, I know...I haven't had a chance to post lately...been busy busy busy... but I feel way better now... seems like after I switched from 10 MG to 15 MG there wasn't much of a change at the beginning, but now I feel like there's a big difference...

In the last two weeks, I had another meeting with my doc, had few more dates, went out with friends, build cats condo and playground for my cat and I'm working on my psychology work... that I need to finish it three weeks...



I feel improvement in all aspects of life now, I almost forgot about the anxiety, and honestly I cant remember when was the last panic attack i had... (maybe I should just scroll back to the older posts... lol...)

I'm not depressed any more, and I enjoy life experience and whatever they throw on me...

The bottom line is that things are better, way better now... and I can finally explore myself and the world around me from a positive perspective.

I found a good solution for the alcohol thing, when I go out to pubs I just choose the beer with the lowest alcohol concentrations, that way I can drink freely and it doesn't effect me too much...

The only thing that bothers me is that sometimes its hard to fall a sleep...but hey, that's a small price to pay for what you get...

Well I have another date this week, I'm really into this love thing lately :-).

oh, and I'm singing in the morning sometimes...

OK my friends, thanks for taking the time to read this, take care and I will post another post soon.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Day 83: Another one bites the dust...

Hello again my friends, thanks for caring and visiting my blog again :-) .

Yesterday I had another blind date... which went much better than the previous one, I think I'm getting better at this,



I was a little bit nervous before the date but when I got there I just said to my self lets do this and have fun , and than everything went smoothly and we had really nice time, if you're asking if she's the one...? well not really... but it was a good experience and we had good time and got some practice at dating and communicating with people you don't know which can sometimes be very ...alarming... if you know what i mean...
soon I have another blind date, I will update on it too, however its way easier to deal with this using cipralex, cause you can really deal with the conversation and the other person and not with your anxiety and panic attacks...

Cheers

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Day 81: Approaching girls in the pub...

Had couple of new experiences lately, but this post will focus on the more interesting one :-)
it will deal mostly with approach anxiety and social issues...here we go...


You see, couple of days ago I went out with friends to have a drink in a nice local pub, got dressed nice and lately I'm in the mood to get out of the house all the time, or maybe I'm in the mood to no stay in the house all the time...Anyways we decided to go out to get a drink, so my friend picked me up and we drove the place...

 there was nice dub music and nice atmosphere, the place wasn't too crowded...maybe it was still early...


Anyways, we were talking and drinking, I talked with the bar tender a bit and with my friends, than the place started to get crowded and this group of two hot girls and this guy came in and sat at the other end of the place...


Then I felt this feeling again, like I usually would, I just wanted to get up and start talking with one of those girls, drank another beer, than In seconds I went over there and started talking to the all group, and while I'm actually doing it, walking up to a group of complete strangers and talking to them i could hear my self saying in my head "dude, this is so easy! it so easy!" they were really nice, we had some chit chat and a smoke, i found out she's this guy girl friend and the other girl is his sister, so nothing romantic came out of this but, i was so amazed that i did that...ok ok...so i drank some beers before...never the less, I could never do that and never have done that before, because usually i would get panic attack just thinking about doing something like this, later in the same bar i went downstairs to the level below and started making eye contact with this other girl, i felt as if i could act on it and hit on her but something told me to end this night with the success i already had...


this was amazing...I think my friends looked at me with open jaws...that was so unlike me...but I hope this is just the begriming of the upgraded me released... the day after was a bit fuzzy because i drank so much, so i was very tired...


today I'm good, a bit bored but good...


I know what you're wondering...what about the blind date...well there's a storm going on lately, we're waiting for the weather to get better and than we will meet, hopefully in a day or two... but worry not, you'll be the first to know how it went...


note to self: learn to enjoy things, not just do em.


love you all and take care!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

No special dramas! communication skills released.

Been couple of days since my last post, I had a very busy week and a lot on my mind…

Here's a quick review of what happened these days and what I went through…

I had some work related meetings this week with some people I didn’t knew and some I haven't seen a long, long time, went very good I think…its amazing how easy it is to communicated when you're not so busy with dealing with the panic attacks, anxiety and depression, it was actually fun.

I was at a barbeque with friends, made everyone laugh. That's funny, usually I would just try survive the situation if would get myself to ever get out of the house and when I did find myself in those situation I would never talk or talk as less as possible, but this time I couldn't shut up, I was funny, interesting and seems like people really enjoyed my company. Its like I feel I can finally truly express myself , my real self around people and that's awesome.



Later the same week I called this new girl I'm suppose to date today, her name is Carrie and once again it's a blind date, now you're probably asking yourself why am I doing this to myself…lol so was I, but my plan is to attack my greatest fears, one by one, until I will comfortable around people. I had a conversation with her over the phone, it went smooth, I felt relaxed and made her laugh, seems like I'm improving all the time, she sounded a bit "old" or "too slow" on the phone but maybe its just me, never the less will try to meet her open minded and have fun, get some more experience and gain more confidence – this is mostly what I'm after mostly lately.

Later, still the same week… on the way saw this girl that couldn't open a door and I helped her, also at launch talked to the waitresses a bit went nice too, I think she want something from me? Maybe not… I'm still fighting myself to break a specific barrier that really annoys me when it comes to approaching strangers and initiating conversations with them. I really want to be able to do that.

After that day I woke up ok, but almost forgot to take the pill again... lately I'm forgetting that I take pills at all… which is good but bad cause I don’t want to forget or skip a day, anyways , I've made an emergency package of cipralex pills and placed it in my wallet for emergency situations.
had to come back home to take it... I place a My Appetite is getting better lately…and over all I had no special dramas this week, thinking a lot about getting a girlfriend, I have another blind date today, I wonder how it will go…

Thats it for now, I will update you how it went on my blind date...:-) wish me luck...and take care!

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Cipralex and Blind Dating


Yesterday I had a blind date with this cute girl, all I can is that it was a very good practice for me, and I could be at ease and just have fun and conversation most of the time, eventually it didn't work out but the fun part is, that I didn't care much :-) at least not too much, and now I have another date, the thing is that usually in the past I would worry and focus on myself too much , that will make look like a freak, and this time I was cool, I mean there were couple of seconds here and there of something that reminded the social anxiety but it lasted only few seconds and went away...


well don't know if that aspect of cipralex interest you much, if it does I can shade some more light about it, let me know...


take care!

Forgetting about the pills

I've notice that two times I totally forgot that i'm taking cipralex... almost actually forgot to take the pills, but eventually i remember, but its a good sign, Its like all the side effects are totally gone...



just wanted to share that too :-)

Day 63 - 73 with 15mg cipralex: Attacking on all fronts

Hello everybody, here's a quick review of what happend these days...

* I talked to a girl on a bar(complete stranger...i would could never do that before)

* I started singing to myself a lot lately, specially in the morning... and in the shower...thats funny...isn't it?

* bought lots of cool clothes (dealt with lots of people doing that...so it was fun to see i can handle that)

* I feel bored, or maybe I just need a relationship...at night it was really boring it was raining so i was stuck at home...again...

* thinking about getting a girlfriend again...



* singing on the morning, i set a meeting with this company that makes matches between people...(I need love, not some sentimental prison)

* went to the meeting i set, when i came to the front door i had a kind of starting of panic attack but it was for like a milisecond than i just went right in and had fun. that was amazing that I could handle that, normally the pressure,anxiety and panic would be overwhelming...I developed some nice techniques to get my self to deal with all the issues that bother me, more about that in future posts...had an interview at the meeting with this guy, i think I made really good impression on him...

* thinking about one of the girls i run into in the shops... i should talk to her...

* its very cold lately , but i'm feeling better ,i'm starting to notice a change in the way i interact with people and all the things i used to worry about seem so far now...sometimes i cant even remember them sometimes

* went to the cinema and to drink something and had some people it was fun.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Things I've Tried Before Cipralex

Hi there, just so you'll know I haven't just jumped into this, and you shouldn't too, here's the stuffs I tried before cipralex (which tops them all, at least for me and my issues):



1. Hypnosis
2. NLP
3. Home remedies
4. Herbal and nutritional supplements
5. Saint John's worth
6. 5htp Supplements
7. Shrink
8. Psychotherapist
9. Self Help books, films, audios
10. seroxat
11. Valerian Drops
12. Chinese Acupuncture

some of them helped less some helped more, but when I compare cipralex with all of them, its much better and the changes are happening real fast.

Boring...Boring...Boring

Lately I've noticed I get bored when I do nothing, staying at home is boring, watching tv is also boring... this is a major thing for me, usually time will just fly for me even if I don't do nothing , I never felt bored... but this is a very positive thing for me, I guess I haven't noticed I wasn't doing much because I was very very busy thinking about what I should do, or avoid... panic attacks, social anxiety and depression...well seems BORING to me now...that's something isn't it...



there's this old saying, you gotta look at your worst fear in the eyes and watch him look down... this is what i'm doing to all my fears...

I've made a genius plan to deal with all my fears one by one, I've discovered how to trick myself into it and i'm keep pushing my self forward...

I will tell you more about this in the coming up posts...

take care!

Sunday, January 02, 2011

Happy New Year

Well the last couple of days were something, I've been in lots of places and had just to interact with people here and there, which is still amazing for me because just getting out of the house, not to mention being around people i don't know was "an issue" for me, this time it was easy and kinda fun.

Its almost a week now since i've increased the dosage from 10 mg to 15 mg, and i'm starting to feel the difference, I notice slowly slowly how I become more relaxed in past stressing situations and get this "I dont care" or "bring it on" kind of feeling...I like that.



I've to couple of stragers ,was'nt much of a conversation but still its another step forward just to do it and see that i can do it and stay a live and without a panic attack, that's something.

Cipralex side effects are totally gone now... sometimes I forget I take it...

Some folks asked me about cipralex and sex issues, I promise to post some information about that too, I know it effects and important to many of you...

Another things worth mentioning is that I get kinda bored a lot lately, but I guess its a good thing cause it make wana do stuffs...just need to figure out what...

anyways, take care everybody and comment - its important and gives me an execuse to keep writing.

love you all