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Sunday, October 02, 2011

Day 340... Have things really changed?


Friends,
Hope you’re all still in the game and getting better with each day.
It’s been a while since I last wrote something, been little busy lately…
It’s now day 340, soon I’ll be a year on cipralex…it’s time to stop for a second and appreciate what happened this year, how things changed, how my way of thinking and looking at things change – and it did…sure did.
Wow, I’m amazed at how easy it is to get use to things, to get use to feeling normal…to get use to not get use to think too much about things, and just flow.



A year ago…maybe a little bit less, I was so depressed, lonely and living on the edge, in this daily fear on everything I guess… I use to get panic attacks every single day…sometimes even couple times a day.
I wouldn’t go out, I would do everything in my power to avoid any social events and meeting new people was a nightmare…sometimes even walking down the street was a damn project…it’s amazing…just amazing…I can hardly remember how it felt like…which is good, very good. I now walk the streets, meet and interact with new people, I feel safe…I feel I can trust myself.
I have a beautiful girlfriend, good friends; I love my family and most important of all… I guess I made peace with myself… the improvement and changes I’ve going through all this time on cipralex are overwhelming sometimes…
I use to complicate things too much, think too much and I used to feel like I’m not in control…
I always knew, even back then…that I was stuck inside a bubble…or maybe a cell, a prison cell which I build for years…guess how that makes you feel…knowing you put yourself there, knowing your inside a bubble…but just can’t get out of it…
I guess it’s important for me to stop for a second…stop and appreciate myself for doing this for myself… I guess this is one of the most important things I’ve done for me ever…
I do not regret my decision to take cipralex…it was a hard call to make but I made it…and for that I’m grateful too… things are working out, soon I’m meeting my psychiatrist again, see what he have to say…he will probably suggest to continue three more months… but it doesn’t matter, taking cipralex is a very small price to pay for the benefits of rebuilding your life…rebuilding yourself.
Btw I can now say that all the side effects are totally 100% gone, so the only hassle is to take the pill once a day…
I still haven’t told anyone about me taking this pill…and I’m not going to…at least not in the near future…
I know some of you disagree and say its as if I’m judging my friends or gf, but I’m not…I just think that I’m not ready for that yet…maybe society isn’t ready too…
It’s funny; yesterday I met my friend new girlfriend…sounds silly right? Today it is….no big deal….i haven’t really thought about it much…just didn’t care…:) a year ago I would think about it so much I get panic attack all day…just because I’m meeting someone I don’t know…
Things change – remember that folks, sometimes they change so fast, you don’t even notice.
Take care now

Reactions:

78 comments:

Thanks for the comments Johny, I just started Cipralex 6 weeks ago and am noticing positive changes. Hopefully I will see the results you are having, thanks again.

Michael H

I started taking Cipralex 2 wks ago and had to up the dose. I can't wait to get myself back and not to have to deal with the daily panic attacks. It's really not fair to my 15 mnt old daughter. And reading this blog has made it easier to cope and just hang in there for the end results. Thank you for sharing ur experiece. Take care! (hugs)

Hey Johny, I see that you see a psychiatrist now? Is that just to renew your prescriptions, or have you underdone some psychotherapy? I know for me, personally, reading books on psychoanalysis has helped tremendously (just as much as cipralex has). I also plan on doing therapy with a psychologist soon. Any thoughts on this?

I have been on for 6 months. If anyone has any questions, please leave me your email, and I'll write you. I'm a 29'year old, married, with 1 child.

I'm glad to see I'm not alone, I just started taking this medication this week and I am sure hoping it works for me ???

I was on venlafaxine for quite awhile and I decided I didn't need it mostly because of side effects and in my infinite wisdom I decided I didn't need it. It was a tough lesson to learn, I had about the worst week of my life after it wore off. As I said before I haven't been on cipralex for long, but early results are positive.

Thank you for this Johny. I'm about to start my journey with cipralex and reading some of your posts has been very motivating.

That is pretty awesome to see my first people talk about their experiences.

I have JUST started taking it TODAY actually and I am not sure how it will work or if it is even going to be the proper medication for me, but there is only one way to find out. I just hope it will do the job I expect, as it seems it should as my doctor suggested. ..

so can anybody tell me what they felt from the first 2-4 weeks from first taking it ? and how it felt as it progressed ? so I can have a picture while I go through my first few weeks ?

that would be great.

Thank you very much ! =-)

- DJ ( djmasacre2010@gmail.com )

That is pretty awesome to see my first people talk about their experiences.

I have JUST started taking it TODAY actually and I am not sure how it will work or if it is even going to be the proper medication for me, but there is only one way to find out. I just hope it will do the job I expect, as it seems it should as my doctor suggested. ..

so can anybody tell me what they felt from the first 2-4 weeks from first taking it ? and how it felt as it progressed ? so I can have a picture while I go through my first few weeks ?

that would be great.

Thank you very much ! =-)

- DJ ( djmasacre2010@gmail.com )

i disagree.. totally. cipralex is the worst medicine ever. i regret having started it and i just cannot quit it!

it's as if these comments are written by a doctor who prescribes cipralex or or someone from cipralex company. i did not buy it.. sorry.

well , this was the first quick look on a site ...

trust me, I will find the real forums with real discussions about it soon anyway ;)

Anonymous who doesn't like Cipralex- Every med works different for everyone. I am not in the medical field, I am a 40 yr. old mom of 2 who is a Journeyman Parts Technician trained in the automotive industry so my opinion of Cipralex is totally from experience.
I've been on it abot 3 months now. DJ- the first thing I noticed was the stopping of repetative and negative thoughts. As far as side effects go I can honestly say the only one is sexually. :( This sucks BUT I have control of my temper, I get angry but it isn't overwhelming, I can stop myself before I get physical. I still get anxious but I can work through it and I am generally more positive about life in general. We'll figure a way around the side effect.
It did take 2 full months before teh full effects were felt, both good and bad.

Wow, even after the first day I can feel some changes.

( I already have a high tolerance for medications and already take methylphenidate )

but I can feel some changes already.

not to the extent that I probably should, whether because it will get even better after a few weeks, or that I should be increased up to 20-40mg instead of just 10mg.

but so far, I am "jumping" out of bed MUCH more easily than I can remember. ( that is a good start ) ...

I am not feeling all dead for the first 5 hours of the day like zombie. that is a huge change

believe it or not I woke this morning with this song in my head " oh happy day, oh HAPPY day, oh happy day, when J walks.... when J walks "

dont ask me why I had that song, but sometimes I get songs in my head, but that was funny :)

bottom line: I woke up in a fairly good mood. that has to show something.

I am not QUITE where I expect to be though but again it has only been the 2nd day, so lets go from there.

aside from that for side effects: just mild head tension, I was little unbalanced (uncoordinated) it felt, I was forgetting things a little bit, which I am sure is just part of the chemical rushing and re-arranging parts in my brain to eventually correct itself with the serotonim.

So I suspect that is where the 2-5 weeks will come in before it all gets re-organized properly, and then at that point continue taking the medication at the correct adjusted dosage I may need after that !

wow, I am susprised though that how little the medication affects my brain, without making me feel like im taking a "typica" anti-depressant, which makes you feel numb or just .. not you , but "not sad " .. like Effexor, Paxil, all those things I tried years ago and when I WASNT depressed and they are not the same.

Cipralex feels light, to the point where once you take it, you basically just feel.. well.. YOU again ... I just think I will most likely have to be bumped up from 10mg eventually though but again I just started so my Doctor will let me know next visit :)

Thanks guys.

Michael H, Good luck and keep at it.

Di - I'm seeing my psychiatrist just to renew the prescriptions, but I totally agree that having sessions of psychotherapy helps a lot and its fun too, if you ask me everyone on this planet needs one :)
And yes reading books about it helps a lot - I agree, try reading about NLP I found it to be highly effective.
Good luck!

RJ, hi and welcome, give it some time...it will.

DJ - hi, you can check out my earlier posts, when I talk about the first weeks with cipralex, however, take in mind that it can take some time until the side effects will weaken... but keep at it.

Mellisa P - thanks for sharing that, I agree with what you said...

Interesting blog.I started on Cipralex over 4 weeks ago for mild depression and severe anxiety.I found it worked almost immediately with little side effects.My mood lightened and anxiety seemed like it was blocked everytime one of my triggers appeared. However,after week 2 my anxiety started to slowly re-emerge.It seems to me Cipralex is working better for the depression than anxiety at this point.I see my Dr. next week and wonder if he will up the dosage ? I worry if I don't get my anxiety under control and can function normally my depression will return.Has anyone else had this issue and would I benefit from an increased dosage.Great blog J !!!

I take Stimulants as it is before just starting Cipralex for just 2 weeks now at 10mg .

but I already am thinking I should be on 20mg a day. but my Dr wanted me to follow up in 2 weeks, yet I cant get an appointment until the 27th. that is ok though but in the meantime without Cipralex for the remaining days ... the depression comes back quick and I may have to resort to other things to fill it in .. as I was before I even really thought I could be "seriously depressed".

in Any case, the anxiety.. well .. not sure.. I can sit here and say that with my ADD medication ( stimulants ) it would be helping with the anxiety and all the other common issues.. and then now with Cipralex with the realization of the new depression, I should be fine ..

but I cant really tell you for sure.

This is stuff that only you and your Doctor can figure out together... so , you ask your Physician, and work something out.


I dont know what else I can really say to help you out with that, sorry.


Good Luck though !


All the Best !


Kindest Regards,

- DJ

I started 5mg cipralex 3 days ago for anxiety and I am surprised that I've not had bad side effects. I had a bit of a headache on the first day. I feel a little tired and dizzy but it wears off after an hour or two. I’ve just decided to take it at night, think I will sleep easily and be less tired during the day. I was concerned because I drive so I took them when I didn’t really have to go anywhere until I knew how they affected me.

Antidepressants just seemed so extreme to me, I’m not depressed and I refused them 3 times. But I haven’t got any better on my own and needed to try something.

I have read so many bad things on the internet which is the worst thing you can do, but reading your blog has helped me feel more positive about taking it. Also I'm waiting for CBT.

I don’t expect miracles and to feel like a different person. I'd just like to stop worrying and over thinking things which make me feel sick. Examples are interviews, being over excited about a night out with friends, silly things really. (I think that would be a miracle). It doesn’t stop me doing these things but I feel ill its more the physical symptoms that I struggle with so I'm hoping they will help, fingers crossed.

Thanks for reading but enough about me, good luck to everybody else and hope you all have a great recovery.
Karen :-D

Hi, I've been depressed for a really long time now , I think it may be at least 16 years now. Although when I think about it , its been there for much longer than that, this fear of life in general, always feeling different like I didnt fit in with my group of friends,always being tense and unable to relax and enjoy life. I think it definitely got worse after the birth of my second son , who is severely autistic. He is now almost 16 years old and not improving much. In my life I tried various antidepressants from herbal like St Johns wort to Aleve and Paxil with very little success. Then I just went cold turkey and hoped and prayed for the best. My doc prescribed something to help me sleep and that was a huge mistake-Zopiclone works good for a short time but then you get hooked on it. So I had a horrible time trying to go off of it for a while. I knew deep inside that the reason I couldn't sleep is depression and anxiety and the fact that my son doesn't sleep very well, and the years of this situation contributed to my state. Thankfully last year a friend of mine confided that she is taking Wellbutrin and it doesn't have any side effects and it works great for her, so I decided to try it as well. I was so happy when after a couple of weeks I felt better and was finally able to sleep and to function at home and at work. She actually works with me so we shared our stories how we feel and how things were going so it was good to have someone who understands your situation. After about a year on it I found that slowly my anxiety started to creep up on me again and I think mainly due to the fact that I never increased the dose. I was just too afraid to change anything and I hoped that it would start working again. Unfortunately it didn't. I saw another doctor and I was very wary to try anything new since I had such bad experience previously with Paxil , it just made me sick to my stomach and I had a horrible migraines. But he told me this med has the fewest side effects and it's from Europe and since that's where I come from I decided I was desperate for something and I gave it a try. He also wanted me to take Seroquel foe the night to help me sleep however after one try I couldn't take it as it had bad side effects: really dry mouth and dizziness. So right now I've been on Cipralex for about 3 weeks and I must say it's taking slower to work than Wellbutrin did, but I feel better now and I can sleep better as well. Overall I feel like I don't dwell on all the bad depressing thoughts about my life and my son, I'm able to just let it be and relax a bit about everything. The anxiety is still there bur it's like I have power to control it now, it's not controlling me. I'm able to keep the worst anxiety at bay and to think more clearly. I hope it will keep working and I will be able to handle all the stress in my life. It feels good to be able to share this with you guys.

Hi, everyone! I'm so hopeful after reading your comments about this medicine. And actually it's not me, who's taking Cipralex - it's my husband. He started taking it yesterday and I'm just praying that it will work for him.

It's been really hard for both of us with his depression and anxiety. So hopefully things will get better. I love him more than anything and can't wait for him to start to enjoy life and just see what an amazing person he is.

I hope it works for both of you. You're a great wife for sticking with him through all he is going through, it can't be easy. God Bless you.

I will start taking Cipralex soon, and many of the words and comments really gave me hope. Right now, I am suffering from severe anxiety and also depression and I just can't see myself living a normal life, ever. It feels so hopeless right now, I'm doing my fourth psychotherapy and it just doesn't make anything better. Now my psychiatrist wants me to take Cipralex, and if it will really help to take away the constant fear and sadness, without changing the deepest parts of my personality, it would be the greatest gift for me. At least it's another bit of hope.

Hi Johnny, great site.I have had depression for at least 15 years & been thru a lot of AD meds, Zoloft, Remeron, Effexor & a few I can't remember. I started Cipralex about 3 years ago and settled on 10mg after finding 20mg & even 15mg made me sleep 15hours a day.
The 10mg dose was perfect for over 2 years. I felt great, so much so that in my wisdom I decided that I did'nt need this stuff & quit on Jan 2011. BIG MISTAKE.I went downhill fast & ended up in the pshyc ward for a week in july & again in Aug. I had a major depressive episode and had hit the booze badly. I'm really good now and off the booze for 4 mos.
I will probably take Cipralex for the rest of my life or until it stops working.
To the great people on your blog, PLEASE do not make my mistake. I put myself and my family thru hell.
Like you Johnny, I hope that I can help anyone from my experience.
BTW, some great folks in the Phsyc ward, in fact, apart from this blog its only place to discuss to discuss this disease with your fellow sufferers.
One last thing, I'm out. I told all my friends and they were terrific & hugely supportive, I felt much better about myself and my friends.
Thankyou for this blog.

Mo

whats with cipralex and osteoporosis?? am i at risk

I never heard of that link, and I work in Bone densitometry where I check for osteoporosis

Hi. I've been on Cipralex for 3 weeks now (5 mg). It worked great for the first 2 weeks but now I am more anxious. and while I couldn't sleep before, its even more difficult to sleep (need trazDONE to sleep). I wonder if I need to increase the dose to 10 mg or find another option. I find I have the shakes most days. Any comments/experiences anyone?

It sounds to me that you need to go up on the dose of Cipralex. In my case Cipralex makes me sleepy and I'm only taking 10 mg for about 6 months now. You will find you'll go thru different stages with this drug from inability to sleep at first to some tolerable fatigue( in my case anyway.) but overall there are more benefits to this than side effects I find. I don't have any anxiety or depression right now even though I've been thru some tough times lately.

i started cipralex about 10 days ago. i'm very sensitive to any drugs so i started at 2.5mg. wow what a difference. i didnt realize how crippled i was until i could move around again,laugh, and smile. for the first week i felt like i was on low dose slow release speed. still anxious, but a small price to pay for living again. the last few days i've been a bit annoyed at some of the people around me, but i couldn't stand hearing them speak before. i've been a little tired the last few days too but my toddlers been sick and that means interrupted sleep. it could just be that.. we will see how this goes.

I was on Cipralex for about 8years and found it to be a great help with my anxiety and depression I never seemed to have any big issues with side effects at all.My poor wife has dementia and it helped me to cope with her and the after effects of having a triple by pass op a year ago, then for no reason I could see I was told that it was not to be taken following by-pass surgery. I was taken of it in January 2012 and put on some other medication which mademy life hell I would get in rage over nothing at all my eyesight was awful tummy upsets loss of sleep I could go on forever with the list all theh doc said was give it time I put up with it for 3 months and have now stopped taking it and am on nothing at the moment I have not named the drug as I do not wish to cause other people any distress. But if I am not put back on Cipralex when I go for my review in 3 weeks time I think I will go mad, I have half a packet fo Cipralex left should I put my self back on them or wait till I see the doctor My ability to cope with my wife is getting very bad th constant repititon of questions etc takes some handling. I would welcome some advice please.

Just started taking 10 mg cipralex 2 weeks ago, not noticed any beneficial effects yet,just feel unbelievably lethargic and anxious... took paxil for 15 years which was great for most of that time but stopped working last couple of years..I pray the cipralex will work I can't take much more of this!

I have been taking cipralex now foe 3 weeks. I felt great for the first week; however 2 weeks in and I have had to take time off work as I am so tired all the time with a servere headache. My anxiety has returned with some strange thougths entering my heade!! Does this feeling stop?! I have 6 weeks worth to take before I have a review with my doctor, however I am think I may just stop taking this drug..any advice would be greatly appreciated....?

I've been on cipralex for 3.5 months, just wondering if the medicine should be fully working by now?

I've been on cipralex for 3.5 months, just wondering if the medicine should be fully working by now?

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